Aggressive Solicitation

The conversation could have gone like this:

her, walking up to us quickly, entering the realm of our personal space, thrusting american flag and peace sign stickers in my hand: You are hereby under arrest for being too beautiful, for smiling too much, for being too happy. Your citation fee is a minimum of $10 that goes to our food bank where we feed hot vegetarian meals to the hungry.

me, practicing nonviolent communication: Wow! I can see that you are really motivated by this project and very enthusiastic to gain my support. You seem like you feel passionately about what you are doing and you want me to give you money for it. I am feeling like my personal space is being violated and that you aren't giving me a viable way of saying no to your request, and I feel resentful when I feel as though I am being manipulated or cajoled into giving money. I am requesting that you take your stickers, give me some space, and tell me more about what you are doing in a less invasive way.

Instead, the conversation went something like this:

her, walking up to us quickly, entering the realm of our personal space, thrusting american flag and peace sign stickers in my hand: You are hereby under arrest for being too beautiful, for smiling too much, for being too happy. Your citation fee is a minimum of $10 that goes to our food bank where we feed hot vegetarian meals to the hungry.

me, slightly inebriated, staring at the stickers in my hand, just starting to understand she was asking for money: is this a religious based charity?

her: this project is run by the Hare Krishnas, but --

me: is there proselytizing?

her: people can listen if they want or not. But many people want someone to talk to when they come share our meals.

me, lamely: There is a lot of loneliness in the world. Then, handing her $5, feeling manipulated and like I wanted my personal space back, thank-you-very-much: Have a nice day.

I felt pissed until I left the stickers at the free literature stand at the public library.

Moral of the story: NVC is much easier to think about and plan than it is to do spontaneously. Clearly I need more practice.