Besides the fact that it is 85 degrees and sunny in Portland today, news out of California has me all aflutter.
Despite all my conflicted feelings about having gone to law school, those three years getting my JD provided me a new lens through which to interpret news. Links to the decision abound, but here it is again (172 page PDF) for your pleasure.
Marriage is a fundamental right. Felons [edit: Prisoners] get it, and (gasp) gay people should get it too.
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Showing posts with label civix. Show all posts
Showing posts with label civix. Show all posts
15.5.08
28.3.08
In Case You Hadn't Heard
One of the things I really enjoy about living in Oregon is the spectrum. Right here, in this one state, we have legislators who tell gay folks to shut up and compare Oregon to Nazi Germany by virtue of its anti-discrimination law. There are fierce and ongoing legal battles about the afore-mentioned anti-discrimination law and statewide domestic partnership rights. And now, Oregon is home to a widely publicized transgender pregnancy, the original story appearing in the 4/8/08 Advocate. [I've fixed the link that apparently wasn't working when I first made this post.]
Blogs I follow that have commented:
* Recovering Straight Girl on 3/25/08
* Stumptown Girl on 3/26/08
* Firecracker! on Lesbiatopia on 3/27/08
* More from Recovering Straight Girl on 3/28/08
What I find most striking is not that a transmale is pregnant, nor that he and his wife are afforded federal protections because they are legally married. Nor am I surprised that they have encountered significant discrimination and lack of support.
What is interesting to me is that legal gender identity, personal sexual and gender identities, and interpersonal identities intersect in interesting and unique ways. This situation, and the resulting discussions, cause me to reflect on the importance and relevance of my undergraduate degree in Women's/Gender Studies. I spent much of my early- to mid-twenties unpacking and assessing matters of gender, social "reading" of bodies, identification, and meaning.
In both my undergraduate program and in law school, the greatest lessons I gained with my diplomas was that THERE IS SO DAMN MUCH THAT I JUST DON'T KNOW. Gaining comfort with that level of ignorance, without settling into complacency, is an ongoing and humbling experience that has provided an entry into connection and compassion with my fellow beings whose life experiences differ from or parallel my own. It's an imperfect comfort, and is often more riddled with fits and starts than endowed with a smooth glide into true connection. But ultimately, I consider the journey one of the most precious aspects of my life thus far. One teacher in particular, S.Pace, is and was a key catalyst for that journey. To her, I am deeply and eternally grateful.
Kudos to the parents-to-be in Bend for their candor, and best wishes for a smooth birth experience for their child, expected in July 08.
Stretching our concepts of reality to include the experiences of others is one of the most blessed opportunities of being human.
Blogs I follow that have commented:
* Recovering Straight Girl on 3/25/08
* Stumptown Girl on 3/26/08
* Firecracker! on Lesbiatopia on 3/27/08
* More from Recovering Straight Girl on 3/28/08
What I find most striking is not that a transmale is pregnant, nor that he and his wife are afforded federal protections because they are legally married. Nor am I surprised that they have encountered significant discrimination and lack of support.
What is interesting to me is that legal gender identity, personal sexual and gender identities, and interpersonal identities intersect in interesting and unique ways. This situation, and the resulting discussions, cause me to reflect on the importance and relevance of my undergraduate degree in Women's/Gender Studies. I spent much of my early- to mid-twenties unpacking and assessing matters of gender, social "reading" of bodies, identification, and meaning.
In both my undergraduate program and in law school, the greatest lessons I gained with my diplomas was that THERE IS SO DAMN MUCH THAT I JUST DON'T KNOW. Gaining comfort with that level of ignorance, without settling into complacency, is an ongoing and humbling experience that has provided an entry into connection and compassion with my fellow beings whose life experiences differ from or parallel my own. It's an imperfect comfort, and is often more riddled with fits and starts than endowed with a smooth glide into true connection. But ultimately, I consider the journey one of the most precious aspects of my life thus far. One teacher in particular, S.Pace, is and was a key catalyst for that journey. To her, I am deeply and eternally grateful.
Kudos to the parents-to-be in Bend for their candor, and best wishes for a smooth birth experience for their child, expected in July 08.
Stretching our concepts of reality to include the experiences of others is one of the most blessed opportunities of being human.
2.3.08
Moved Me
When I watched this video today, I felt so much. My reaction was visceral and more profound than anything I've felt for an exceptionally long time. Perhaps ever. Sitting with my love at our dining room table, bearing witness via YouTube, tears streaming down our cheeks - it made for an incredible Sunday morning. I may write more about my reaction later, but for now, I'll simply hold this out as a humble offering. Maybe it will move you too.
Something else that moved me: Waking up early on Tuesday morning, the first day of the bar exam, padding into the kitchen to turn on the gas fireplace and make coffee, glancing out the sliding glass door, and seeing a beautiful bouquet of flowers, left for me by an incredible friend at 5am. I love to feel love.
Something else that moved me: Waking up early on Tuesday morning, the first day of the bar exam, padding into the kitchen to turn on the gas fireplace and make coffee, glancing out the sliding glass door, and seeing a beautiful bouquet of flowers, left for me by an incredible friend at 5am. I love to feel love.
23.1.08
consume this
Victor Lebow, a post WWII retailing analyst:
So again I tell myself: Buy less. Live more.
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"Our enormously productive economy . . . demands that we make consumption our way of life, that we convert the buying and use of goods into rituals, that we seek our spiritual satisfaction, our ego satisfaction, in consumption . . . we need things consumed, burned up, replaced, and discarded at an ever-accelerating rate.This article, and the above quote, have prompted me to find creative ways around outright replacing my dear technological companion, though the prospect of being away from her again for repairs tears at my heart. (Why do they make these things disposable?! They told me I was LUCKY to get three years out of my laptop!)
So again I tell myself: Buy less. Live more.
.
20.1.08
Men's Abortions & The War Mentality
Two weeks ago I read two articles about abortion on the same day. I'm glad I read them in the order that I did because the first one placed my paradigm in a more inclusive rather than exclusive stance.
The first article (A Change of Heart: From Pro Life to Pro Choice, AlterNet 1/9/08) included a perspective I needed to hear: "Our beliefs are not created by what -- or who -- we are against. They exist because of what we are for: comprehensive reproductive health for all, and the ability to decide for ourselves if we will or will not have an abortion."
A line from the second article (Changing Abortion's Pronoun, LA Times 1/7/08) elicited an audible groan from me, and my mind went to The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood and Starhawk's description of The Southlands in The Fifth Sacred Thing. A man, discussing his personal regret about several ex-girlfriends' abortions: "'I never really thought about it for the woman,' he says slowly." What?! He never really thought about the woman part of the equation in an abortion scenario? Excuse me?
It's an interesting catch-22. Though it disgusts me, it doesn't surprise me that anti-abortion activists will utilize women's termination regret to influence the courts toward the incorrectly-perceived need to "protect" women from their own choices. But would they do the same with men's regret as a motivator? To protect men from themselves? I do not doubt that some men experience loss or sadness over the termination of a pregnancy in which they played a role. But is regret the best measure of whether or not government should permit certain reproductive medical decisions?
Back when I was a married-to-a-man queer grrl, before the polyamorous part of our marriage was predominant, my husband and I terminated a pregnancy. In Utah. I wrote about it here, when the South Dakota mess was in the news. In the post, I half-heartedly pretended it wasn't me, but it was probably pretty obvious. Many women have termination stories; I have one. I don't see why men shouldn't get to tell their stories too.
My ambivalence toward abortion topics is deep and multi-layered. I believe it important to let stories and voices be heard, and yet I also recognize the deeply personal realm of reproduction, coming from a family where fertility, miscarriage, and ectopic (tubal) pregnancies were wrapped in whispered conversations, kept from children, spoken about with solemn secrecy.
The more we share, all of us, the more information we have, the greater likelihood that we might just be able to see each other and really connect and not live under the illusion that our way of experiencing the world is the only way it's experienced. The more information, more connection, more understanding, more empathy, the better. That includes having empathy for people who truly believe that abortion should be illegal. If I can empathize with their feelings, it may be a vital step in bridging the gap in our perspectives, and maybe that person will one day believe that even if abortion is not a choice s/he would make or want a loved one to make, it is a choice that should nevertheless be available in a legal and safe way. The "fight" is more about increased connection and communication rather than fighting. Give peace a chance, wo/man.
. . .
The first article (A Change of Heart: From Pro Life to Pro Choice, AlterNet 1/9/08) included a perspective I needed to hear: "Our beliefs are not created by what -- or who -- we are against. They exist because of what we are for: comprehensive reproductive health for all, and the ability to decide for ourselves if we will or will not have an abortion."
A line from the second article (Changing Abortion's Pronoun, LA Times 1/7/08) elicited an audible groan from me, and my mind went to The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood and Starhawk's description of The Southlands in The Fifth Sacred Thing. A man, discussing his personal regret about several ex-girlfriends' abortions: "'I never really thought about it for the woman,' he says slowly." What?! He never really thought about the woman part of the equation in an abortion scenario? Excuse me?
It's an interesting catch-22. Though it disgusts me, it doesn't surprise me that anti-abortion activists will utilize women's termination regret to influence the courts toward the incorrectly-perceived need to "protect" women from their own choices. But would they do the same with men's regret as a motivator? To protect men from themselves? I do not doubt that some men experience loss or sadness over the termination of a pregnancy in which they played a role. But is regret the best measure of whether or not government should permit certain reproductive medical decisions?
Back when I was a married-to-a-man queer grrl, before the polyamorous part of our marriage was predominant, my husband and I terminated a pregnancy. In Utah. I wrote about it here, when the South Dakota mess was in the news. In the post, I half-heartedly pretended it wasn't me, but it was probably pretty obvious. Many women have termination stories; I have one. I don't see why men shouldn't get to tell their stories too.
My ambivalence toward abortion topics is deep and multi-layered. I believe it important to let stories and voices be heard, and yet I also recognize the deeply personal realm of reproduction, coming from a family where fertility, miscarriage, and ectopic (tubal) pregnancies were wrapped in whispered conversations, kept from children, spoken about with solemn secrecy.
The more we share, all of us, the more information we have, the greater likelihood that we might just be able to see each other and really connect and not live under the illusion that our way of experiencing the world is the only way it's experienced. The more information, more connection, more understanding, more empathy, the better. That includes having empathy for people who truly believe that abortion should be illegal. If I can empathize with their feelings, it may be a vital step in bridging the gap in our perspectives, and maybe that person will one day believe that even if abortion is not a choice s/he would make or want a loved one to make, it is a choice that should nevertheless be available in a legal and safe way. The "fight" is more about increased connection and communication rather than fighting. Give peace a chance, wo/man.
. . .
13.1.08
Important Stuff
Twenty minutes. I'll be bold and say that you can't afford not to spend this twenty minutes. Maybe that sounds melodramatic, but this is one of those things that feels Important.
Maybe you don't want to watch it. Maybe you say to yourself, "But I like not knowing. If I don't know, I'm absolved of my participation." Or you say, "Look, I know, but I have a XYZ factors in my life that require me to live the way that I do." Or maybe you say, "I already know. And I live frugally and consciously and watching this is unnecessary."
But this is Important Stuff. Seriously seriously important stuff. And even the most examined life can use a boost, a reminder, a tool to share with others, perhaps. I'll embed a teaser below, but more importantly, go spend twenty minutes watching or listening to the film The Story of Stuff. Let a kid watch it. In fact, please, encourage your kid to watch it. Important Stuff.
Maybe you don't want to watch it. Maybe you say to yourself, "But I like not knowing. If I don't know, I'm absolved of my participation." Or you say, "Look, I know, but I have a XYZ factors in my life that require me to live the way that I do." Or maybe you say, "I already know. And I live frugally and consciously and watching this is unnecessary."
But this is Important Stuff. Seriously seriously important stuff. And even the most examined life can use a boost, a reminder, a tool to share with others, perhaps. I'll embed a teaser below, but more importantly, go spend twenty minutes watching or listening to the film The Story of Stuff. Let a kid watch it. In fact, please, encourage your kid to watch it. Important Stuff.
27.11.07
Frowny Sick
I'm sick. Tired. Whiney. Headachey. My sweetheart is en route back to SLC, and I miss her fiercely already.
But I did manage to smile wryly at this.
And I also just heard from TW, the aforementioned sweetheart, about a narrowly averted tragedy in the form of an almost-lost fly rod, being transported by TW on my behalf, for J, who needs the rod to potentially snag something on his roadtrip tomorrow. Thanks, love, for seeing that project through. What a relief in the form of a white paging phone at SLC International Airport. Whew.
But I did manage to smile wryly at this.
And I also just heard from TW, the aforementioned sweetheart, about a narrowly averted tragedy in the form of an almost-lost fly rod, being transported by TW on my behalf, for J, who needs the rod to potentially snag something on his roadtrip tomorrow. Thanks, love, for seeing that project through. What a relief in the form of a white paging phone at SLC International Airport. Whew.
24.11.07
Aggressive Solicitation
The conversation could have gone like this:
her, walking up to us quickly, entering the realm of our personal space, thrusting american flag and peace sign stickers in my hand: You are hereby under arrest for being too beautiful, for smiling too much, for being too happy. Your citation fee is a minimum of $10 that goes to our food bank where we feed hot vegetarian meals to the hungry.
me, practicing nonviolent communication: Wow! I can see that you are really motivated by this project and very enthusiastic to gain my support. You seem like you feel passionately about what you are doing and you want me to give you money for it. I am feeling like my personal space is being violated and that you aren't giving me a viable way of saying no to your request, and I feel resentful when I feel as though I am being manipulated or cajoled into giving money. I am requesting that you take your stickers, give me some space, and tell me more about what you are doing in a less invasive way.
Instead, the conversation went something like this:
her, walking up to us quickly, entering the realm of our personal space, thrusting american flag and peace sign stickers in my hand: You are hereby under arrest for being too beautiful, for smiling too much, for being too happy. Your citation fee is a minimum of $10 that goes to our food bank where we feed hot vegetarian meals to the hungry.
me, slightly inebriated, staring at the stickers in my hand, just starting to understand she was asking for money: is this a religious based charity?
her: this project is run by the Hare Krishnas, but --
me: is there proselytizing?
her: people can listen if they want or not. But many people want someone to talk to when they come share our meals.
me, lamely: There is a lot of loneliness in the world. Then, handing her $5, feeling manipulated and like I wanted my personal space back, thank-you-very-much: Have a nice day.
I felt pissed until I left the stickers at the free literature stand at the public library.
Moral of the story: NVC is much easier to think about and plan than it is to do spontaneously. Clearly I need more practice.
her, walking up to us quickly, entering the realm of our personal space, thrusting american flag and peace sign stickers in my hand: You are hereby under arrest for being too beautiful, for smiling too much, for being too happy. Your citation fee is a minimum of $10 that goes to our food bank where we feed hot vegetarian meals to the hungry.
me, practicing nonviolent communication: Wow! I can see that you are really motivated by this project and very enthusiastic to gain my support. You seem like you feel passionately about what you are doing and you want me to give you money for it. I am feeling like my personal space is being violated and that you aren't giving me a viable way of saying no to your request, and I feel resentful when I feel as though I am being manipulated or cajoled into giving money. I am requesting that you take your stickers, give me some space, and tell me more about what you are doing in a less invasive way.
Instead, the conversation went something like this:
her, walking up to us quickly, entering the realm of our personal space, thrusting american flag and peace sign stickers in my hand: You are hereby under arrest for being too beautiful, for smiling too much, for being too happy. Your citation fee is a minimum of $10 that goes to our food bank where we feed hot vegetarian meals to the hungry.
me, slightly inebriated, staring at the stickers in my hand, just starting to understand she was asking for money: is this a religious based charity?
her: this project is run by the Hare Krishnas, but --
me: is there proselytizing?
her: people can listen if they want or not. But many people want someone to talk to when they come share our meals.
me, lamely: There is a lot of loneliness in the world. Then, handing her $5, feeling manipulated and like I wanted my personal space back, thank-you-very-much: Have a nice day.
I felt pissed until I left the stickers at the free literature stand at the public library.
Moral of the story: NVC is much easier to think about and plan than it is to do spontaneously. Clearly I need more practice.
6.11.07
Civic Action, Or An Approximation Thereof
I love Election Day.
The only drawback I've found thus far to my new state is that Oregon does mail-in voting. What?! That means I can't go smile at the senior citizens volunteering as election personnel at the church or elementary school closest to my house, sign my name on the line next to my printed name, go into the little booth, and punch my ballot (or use the computer touch screen, like I did last year). That's my favorite part of voting: the ritual! Well, the ritual and the cool sticker that proclaims to the world I Voted! (Last year's sticker had a thumbprint on it, for the touch screen voting.)
So I "forgot" to mail my ballot in time and now I have to make sure I get to the polls (I'll use my branch library's drop-spot) before 8:00 pm.
The only drawback I've found thus far to my new state is that Oregon does mail-in voting. What?! That means I can't go smile at the senior citizens volunteering as election personnel at the church or elementary school closest to my house, sign my name on the line next to my printed name, go into the little booth, and punch my ballot (or use the computer touch screen, like I did last year). That's my favorite part of voting: the ritual! Well, the ritual and the cool sticker that proclaims to the world I Voted! (Last year's sticker had a thumbprint on it, for the touch screen voting.)
So I "forgot" to mail my ballot in time and now I have to make sure I get to the polls (I'll use my branch library's drop-spot) before 8:00 pm.
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