Girls Girls Girls ... And A Bitch

I'm such a hypocrite.

I'm a feminist. Sometimes I call myself and other females "girls." When I'm writing it, I'll often use "grrls," mostly for the nostalgia of the early 90's. But that's not why I'm a hypocrite.

I'm a hypocrite because two different men in my Feminist Legal Theory class used the term "girl" today towards me, and my internal reactions were worlds apart. I tried to make my outer reaction more comparable, but that was purely for show. And to assuage the immediate guilty recognition that I'm a hypocrite.

• For background, this class has twelve students. Ten men. Two women. A bizarre gender mix considering the course content, even given the embarrassing gender imbalance at my school. Transfer students are required to take a theory class, and there aren't many options. On the first day at least six of the ten men in the class said, "I'm taking this because it sounded better than Medieval Law." Yeah. Way to win points with the prof is all I can say. I was sick last week and I heard that M, the other female, missed class on Wednesday. The stage has now been set.

The first reference came from an exceptionally conservative male student. Let's be clear: to be exceptionally conservative at my school is really a feat given that a good 80% of the studentbody thinks Cheney's BushCo is doing a great job, that only those with something to hide would object to warrantless wiretaps, and that "the market" can take care of any problem under the sun. The second reference came from a socially and politically progressive gay male with whom I am friends.

When the first one said, "Oh, good, a girl is here today," I responded by saying, "A girl? Do you mean me? I don't think I've been a girl since I was about twelve." (This is my standard prickly response since I started bleeding in the sixth grade.)

When the second one said, "There were no girls here during the last class," I responded by saying, "Man, what's with all this 'girl' talk? You guys aren't boys!" Then they both said, "Yes we are! We are boys!"

(You know, men always respond that way, but truly, it's only the most ga-ay of the gay men I know who refer to themselves or other men as boys. I welcome hearing others' experiences which contradict my observation.)

To be perfectly honest, if the first girl-referencer hadn't been sitting right there, I probably would have let the second girl comment slide. But because they were both listening, I felt like I had to say something to girl-referencer-number-two.

That's why I'm a hypocrite. I only take girl-talk from certain people. Same with the word bitch. Some people --especially one particular person lately-- get(s) away with calling me a bitch. Sometimes I even like it. A lot. Go figure.

I guess I'm a complicated kind of feminist. Or maybe I'm just a bitch.